The Early Side of Dusk

So this evening I went with my new roommate to take measurements of our new place. As you know I'll be living down on Wall Street. I then ventured to Brooklyn to assist her in selling her couch. The trip was a breeze. One stop and I was there. I felt a sense of calm as I realized my new home makes life outside of one neighborhood so accessible. New York renters are notorious for "renters remorse." Because we must make a game time decision the minute we view an apartment, after we sign our life away we begin to wonder, "Was there something else out there?" or, "Was it really as big as I thought?" or my personal favorite, "Wait, what did this place look like again?"

As I started my long journey home to the upper west side I took a deep breath in and realized it was 7:45pm and dusk was upon me. The long days of summer are now getting shorter. This put a small weight on my heart as summer is my favorite time of year. Each year since graduating college I am astonished at how quickly the summer months slip by. Each year I compare the current summer to the last saying, "Wow, and I thought last summer flew by."

This reminds me of my 10th birthday. I was very excited about the fact that I was turning double digits. I reminded every person that would listen that, "You only turn double digits once!" I was a wise cookie, even then my friends. My father came home from work with flowers for me. I felt like a true lady. I took the flowers from my dad, looked him in the eyes and said, "Thanks daddy! I just can't believe how fast this year has flown by. I feel like I just turned nine. What crazy year." And with that, my dad looked at me and said, "Well punkin', each year is only going to go by fast than this one. So enjoy the ride and don't let it fly by you." This is perhaps the best advice my dad has ever given me. To be honest, I'm not sure my dad and I have ever discussed this memory...but no time like the present. So dad, if you're reading this, thanks. :)

Dad and me in Israel, 2006

I do try so hard not to let life fly by. I try not to wish time away. Often I find myself wishing that things would slow down. However, for the past few weeks I have heard myself cursing time aloud, praying for it to be one month from where I am now. My move, as if I have not mentioned it enough, has been an incredibly stressful time period for me. I feel like I'm in limbo, waiting for things to gear up. To all you folks who don't know me well, limbo and I don't go well together, and until I have everything settled with my move, I'll be hanging out with limbo. Limbo happens to be my arch nemeses. Limbo makes the advice my dad gave me when I was 10 seem like a load of crap. I'm typically a very optimistic person who tries to see the positive side of everything. Limbo is my kryptonite and weakens my optimism making me a very negative person who can only see why things will not work out, or why everything sucks.

With that said, I think it's time to say so long to limbo. I've got my move date. I've got my movers. Things look like they are shaping up. So perhaps I don't wish it to be one month from now...but can I negotiate next week?